Follow me

Features

Magazine-style bits for you.

Condescending

Before anyone tries saying 'But they're only being nice!', shut your mouths, take a seat, open your eyes to when something is condescending and learn why many undisabled people need to know when 'no' means 'no'...

Two cartoon monkeys, one wearing a dunce hat, another shrugging and looking up at the word 'How?'.

Barely a week passes without experiening some sort of ableist bullshit when venturing out of my house in one of my wheelchairs. The most recent happening has me asking, in 2026, how are we here?

A coiled stethoscope and pile of medical records with 'History' written across them.

I've lost count of the times I've heard I 'don't look disabled' and heard words to that effect from ableists. But how ill, exactly, is my body? Settle in for a read about my medical history and see...

A woman in a wheelchair talking a selfie with the 'Don't' in white on a black background.

I recently had a reoccurring experience that made me want to tell a woman to fuck off and punch her in the face. That's frowned upon, though.

So, I wrote about it instead...

F grade handwritten on lined paper, with 'ailing' added to make the word 'Failing', with 'coming soon!' written above it.

I gave EDSUK around £50,000 worth of work free of charge - as well as that name. Now? I wouldn't give them a penny. Why? Because, like the EDS Society, they're failing...

A wooden toy figure with a long Pinocchio's nose and the word 'Fraud' written in red across it.

Parts of this feature may be hard to stomach, but facts are facts, and facts do not need to be liked or agreed with in order to be facts.

Black paint oozing out of a woman's lips with 'Dirty Word' written across it.

Treating 'disabled' like a dirty word does more damage than good and it's time to dump the politically correct term 'people/person with disabilities'.

Ableism remains the most acceptable form of discrimination. So acceptable, some people don’t even know what the word means - and it’s getting worse.

The bare legs of a woman in heels and fishnet socks with her hand covering her crotch in a manual wheelchair.

A severely painful body is frustrating not least dealing with people who know nothing about my conditions. What happened at the local shop today is a prime example...

Man's hand lighting a candle with a match in darkness with 'Candles' written across it.

Candles
He could light a hundred candles,

Turn ten spotlights upon himself

None would be enough to eradicate the shadows

Of the cards that he has dealt.

The threat of his undoing

Would still hang above his head,

Would still be evident in the invisible stains

Left

Upon

His

Bed.

I was (unusually) drunk when I wrote and built this, so excuse me if I go astray.

But sober or drunk, sometimes, just sometimes...

Black and white image of a woman covering her face on a black background with the word 'Grief', in white, next to it.

I awoke this morning not only with body-wide pain, but also consumed with an emotion I haven't seen spoken many people with chronic conditions talk about - grief.

A vinyl record on a player with title 'Music v Pain' over it.

Music v Pain

As well as enhancing our mood, evidence shows there are studies showing music can be a valuable pain-fighting tool too.

Observer

Why twenty years on the outskirts of society looking in has made me despair of what Western culture has become and why we need a deep shift for the better.

Admitting to ourselves we need a wheelchair can be hard. Dealing with disbelieving people and councils and businesses breaking the law all over the

UK can be even harder.

Down

I’m not really sure where this piece is going to go.

One thing I do know, though, is it’s not going to be particularly positive...

A microphone on a white background behind the word 'Feminism'.

Feminism

All over cyberspace, 'feminist' is used as an attempted insult by insecure men and younger women who are, apparently, knee-deep in the mire of misogyny.

The words Nice Guys in white with woman sitting in the dark next to them.

Nice Guys

Nice Guys always 'finish last', apparently. They're left on the bench, rejected in favour of, what? Ask that and the entire self-pitying trope starts falling apart...

Filthy

I awoke this morning with a Chihuahua asleep at my feet and a filthy Royal Marine, with thighs bigger than my corseted waist, in bed beside me. Thank you, Universe. I fucking deserve this.

The words Daddy Issues in pink with a woman sucking a lollypop next to them.

Daddy Issues

Did I and do I have Daddy Issues?

Abso-fucking-lutely.
Is this hangover from emotionally abusive situations and paths taken by an adult man, my fault?
Abso-fucking-lutely not.

The word 'Wanker' in next to a woman in a white swimsuit under UV light.

Wanker

It's safe to say since my libido arrived, the want for sexual satisfaction has driven me to distraction. Choosing to be celibate for years, though, doesn't mean I haven't had sex - even if it was with myself...

The word Pain in white with a hand splattered in neon pain next to it.

Pain

EDS bodies are some of the most fragile you'd ever meet. This also makes us some of the toughest people on this planet. Pain. It softens and hardens you all at the same time.

A woman's back with paint dripping on it and the word 'Lover'.

Lovers

Called frigid in high school, my first sexual foray came in the days when our parents would take our underage selves to the nearest town and drop us off for our weekly pub-crawl.

Times have changed since then, but my pickiness when choosing lovers has not...

A woman in white underwear in UV light crouching next to the title 'Tired'.

Tired

The pain is hard enough, but the emotional impacts of Ehlers-Danlos' progression are exhausting, and as I told a fellow EDS sufferer today I.

Am.

The title 'Velvet' next to a woman on a branch in a river.

Velvet

One way Hypermobile Ehler-Danlos Syndrome (HEDS) is diagnosed is through examining our skin, and the medical term for the way it feels is 'velvety soft'. Sounds great, but this softness comes with pitfalls and risks.

The words 'Cut Both Ways' over a picture of my stocking top and suspender belt.

Cuts Both Ways

Don't like women speaking about sexual desire or negative experiences with men? Hit Images and look at my ass instead. The issue for me is how hard is it to repeatedly fuck the same person without there being an end goal, other than the fucking?

My Corset Story

Hoping corsets would relieve and support my spine permanently fracture, hypermobile spine, I soon realised they also heightened my sense of femininity, sparking something I struggle to express.

Neon Tape Test

Unbeknown to me that tiny but deceptively bright light making the neon tape shine would bring out an exhibitionism I didn't know was sitting in my psyche. What I should have known is...

inPoetry

He sits in silence, staring at the walls.

Sweat like diamonds

On his forehead.

One hand cupping his balls.

#

Licking at their exposed throats,

She takes them when they sleep.

When they're at their most vulnerable

And easy upon which to feast.

Submission
She pauses in the doorway

Regarding him on her bed.

Almost naked with both hands

Bound above his head.

Get in touch: contact@youdontlookdisabled.com

Share

Follow

Share by: